Half the battle of overcoming a problem is realizing that there is a problem. When the ailment is so intangible you can barely define it, than it becomes the norm and we are unaware of its control over us. If you haven’t figured it out by the large definition I have included, the problem is apprehension and it can become an epidemic without us even realizing our illness.
I call it a disease I have only recently discovered and identified. It stops us from doing activities that are out of our comfort zone. It is an ancient instinctual response that probably allowed our species to live long enough to reproduce, so there is a reason for it and there are some redeeming qualities that assist in keeping us safe and out of bad situations. It becomes a problem when our comfort becomes a habit that keeps us from doing much of anything but our constant run on the treadmill-okay I know how a hamster feels now.
It all started a week or so ago. Work can be quite intense at times and often the first thought of the beginning of the day is how quickly I can get home-unfortunately a dentist appointment means a long evening and the inability to do what I would normally do after a day’s work-go home and unwind. Again, most people would not be excited about a dental appointment but instead of having that feeling of anxiety about the end of the day, I was determined to find something positive about it-my son and I spent a lot of time together, we had dinner out, visited my in-laws and had great conversation with my son. After making the best of what most would deem a lousy end of a day-I started questioning my original feelings of apprehension.
The next day, there was a happy hour and again, instead of looking forward to something new after work I was uncomfortable with the fact that the event was this day-as if tomorrow would have been better. I began to realize that the feeling exists in so many aspects of our lives-it’s not so strange and out of the ordinary to realize but this feeling is what keeps us running on the treadmill and describing our days as a virtual groundhog day. I decided to dissect this feeling instead of avoiding it and after a wonderful happy hour, I realized this feeling was a constant in my life.
Why do people ask you to go get a drink and for some reason you need to get home, the problem is for what? What is that thing you are needing to get home for and you never quite figure it out only that you need to do what you always do and what seems comfortable. So in the spirit of changing this process, I joined a gym and with that process I hired a trainer. Every morning since I have had this feeling in my mind-wait a minute, you don’t workout-this isn’t your thing. You keep getting this question in your mind and that very intangible question is apprehension.
Just realizing how much this unwelcome trap that keeps us from truly living outside our own comfort has actually made the voice less silent and more tangible. I realize the fact that the doubt and question follows me through every aspect of my life and the more we face that feeling head on , the weaker its strength grows.
So what’s next? Skydiving? A great long hike somewhere in the mountains, I believe realizing this unwelcome hitchhiker named apprehension makes its hold on our lives less strong and I can only imagine the great things that lie ahead that will ignore the voice that insists on going home and staying on that same day-Ground Hog day is over for me-I’m just saying….
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