An Unsigned Portrait - This portrait I will never sign, it was never mine. Even though the colors are 
familiar and the strokes are uniquely a piece of me, I have barely laid a brush 
on the canvas. In fact, more of my flaws you will see than any of my strengths.

I have stood in awe, as this work became itself. I have not even the slightest
knowledge nor understanding of the medium and yet I welcomed the idea of
creating it, a small piece of the artist is that which is created as just a
whisper, not too much detail and yet enough to clarify the artists vision.

In this particular work, I must admit the painting has taught me more than I
could ever explain. Now as it becomes theirs’, a work that will be shared with
the world, I seem to be more clueless than ever before.

I can’t articulate the purpose or vision; it is so far beyond the comprehension
of a mere artist. The strokes I have taken in recent seem more discordant than
ever, it seems I can only damage the canvas and being an artist and a creative
person seems more like a detriment than a virtue.

I am clumsy, my colors are unsure and even worse than all of this, I am so
irrelevant. And yet the finishing touches beg for my attention. I keep my
distance, I sort of need to these days because the closer I get to perfecting
the masterpiece, the more I realize it has nothing to do with me and it is not
mine. So I won’t be signing this canvas, I wont be taking a bow to the audience
no more than I could stand in judgment of my lack of skill-the painting has
become itself, I have been barely present and yet the lack of myself has meant
everything in its creation.

I won’t sign this work, I will leave it to the audience to decide and they will
finish it. They will never see the beauty I see, nor understand its amazing
virtue-only I can see this and my deep love for it has made me the worst critic.
I can only judge myself in its shadow and I never come up as nothing but a hack
painter, a novice, a word smith without words to describe… so this painting,
this beautiful amazing painting will never be signed.

Experimental photography – I am in a holding pattern at the moment. It’s like having something on the tip of your tongue, something that is just outside your memory, a word you have problems remembering. I am having a creative slump but at the same time I can almost envision the next paintings and the new writing.

I have been looking at older paintings and there is a sense of detail that I think I have relaxed a bit on in recent paintings. I am excited about creating water with the feeling that you can touch the bottom.

There are many paintings that are floating around the studio, each in different stages of completion-I sit in front of them and nothing. You just can’t force it when there is nothing there, no images, no feelings and yet the impetus is strong.

So today on a snowy day in February I photographed. I tried to see things that weren’t obvious.

I experimented with the winter Jasmine in the front yard in a way that I could captured its essence, I experimented with several Fstops for varying depth of field. So I can’t say I’m completely satisfied but the inspiration and the creativity is getting closer, it’s just a matter of time until I start painting and writing furiously.

I even messed with some old oranges, I liked the rich colors of the oranges with the cold winter background. The fact that they didn’t quite fit in the winter landscape is what I thought was interesting.

Next, I shot inside and adjusted the images until they were almost artwork instead of photos. From the teens addiction to the cell phone to the study of a red couch in the snow, I was just trying to be open to anything that presented itself.

I am excited about shooting much more in the near future and hope to have many photographs of our upcoming trip. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Achieving the impossible – It would be a foolish task to aim at the impossible and yet people that do tend to reach heights their piers can only dream about. These days it seems mediocrity is more noble than achieving your dreams.

1. Excuses, Excuses: If we live on excuses we never have to do anything out of our comfort zone. Success is impossible-what is the point of chasing after pipe dreams. Grow up and stop dreaming, excuses are the drug we use when we’ve given up on what we want for fear of failure.
2. Blaming others: Blaming others allows us to skirt the issue, it’s not our fault we failed, we’re just not lucky, we weren’t born rich, we weren’t born with options others have.
3. Self-doubt: If we spend so much time explaining why our idea won’t work we’ve already given up before we started. There is a beauty in those foolish enough to proceed even when the odds are against them.
4. Expectations and reliance on others: If you expect a hand out from anyone, you are doomed to put your life in a holding pattern. It is the obstacle that allows us to procrastinate, it takes all the control and the blame off our shoulders and assigns just reasons why we can’t achieve the impossible.
5. Afraid of work or sacrifice: Few successful people accidentally succeed, they work for what they have, and they chase their passions tirelessly. They are fully committed and their passion allows them to sacrifice the time and effort necessary to succeed.
6. A lack of passion: We often chase a dream that may be programmed by well meaning parents or a job that ensures wealth or a life of ease. The problem with this tendency to live a programmed life is a lack of passion-how do you work tirelessly if you have no passion in the act of the pursuit nor full understanding of what the end game means. Wealth will not make you happy, chasing your dreams and seeking your passion will.