All posts by artiststevel

Muir Woods: Why I’m glad working out finally became a habit.

I visited Muir Woods National Monument this past week and got to take advantage of the benefits of being a regular at fitness connection. I’ve never had a problem joining a gym but going regularly always seemed beyond me. I learned recently to look at it differently-if you don’t make good life decisions all the freedom you look forward to in your later life will be compromised by a lack of energy and arthritic pain. This realization made going to a gym a necessity instead of a pipe dream. I am looking forward to years of travel and adventure and I don’t want to miss a mountain or scenic view because my knees are bad or I just don’t have the energy.

I will admit being a bit winded but I believe it had more to do with altitude than lack of strength or stamina. I felt fortunate that I had started getting in better shape when I did because if I hadn’t been working out I think it might have made the hike much shorter. We often take the ability to walk where ever we want for granted, I once slipped a disk and was almost bed ridden for a month and when I did walk I walked like the hunchback. After this incident I never took the mere act of walking for granted again and being able to hike up the side of a mountain drove that message home.
Muir woods is amazing, I’ve heard about it from others and it is as big and grand as they’ve described it. My son and I had been to Big Basin State Park, Californias’ oldest state park, where we walked three miles but the walk was on relatively flat ground and not much uphill terrain. We took the ocean view trail in Muir and never actually saw the ocean, the trail meanders around a mountain with some areas pretty steep for the novice hiker dealing with altitude-there were many older and younger than I standing panting along the trail “enjoying the view.” 
It’s wonderful how friendly everyone is on a trail, I think we are all happy to be in nature and the endorphins are at work giving us the natural high. Everyone greets you, everyone smiles and you all share the exhaustion as well as the awe of an ancient forest.

Now, when I think of not going to the gym I remind myself of what we lose in the future when we make bad decisions today. I want the freedom to travel and not only see things from the
highway but to walk, hike and explore. No one can make these decisions but us and the final results of our decisions are never more evident than when we finally have the freedom to travel and get out there-the last thing we want is our bodies to finally not be willing or able to comply. So work out, eat well and get out there and explore-it’s up to you.

Can penance ever make up for lapses in integrity?

I am in a strange place to write about integrity and penance after watching a piece
about Pete Rose on Sunday Morning. In this time of America it is okay to have a lack of integrity as long as you show them and act as if you are sorry, it can’t be quiet, it can’t be among the people you’ve hurt, it needs to be loud and everyone needs to know you are headed to rehab because you are so remorseful for whatever you do.
I just watched hypocrisy at its’ best-one of the best hitters, Pete Rose is banned from baseball, and for good reason betting on baseball and his team. So what’s the problem, his legacy would be much different and quite more lenient if he would have publicly done what so many other fallen sports figures do-cry and show remorse-just act like your sorry.
I was impressed with the fact that his fans still love him, regardless of the establishment that turned its’ back because a lack of appeasement, instead he signs his autographs with I’m sorry I bet on baseball, quiet and with dignity trumps the announcement of how sorry you are and how you are headed for some sort of rehab to deal with your overly acted out regret.

Of course, the best thing to do is to maintain integrity and don’t do the offense that gets you in trouble but there is a better way to deal with the aftermath. I like to think the public knows when its being lied to and when the remorse is genuine but It just seems we love the martyr who throws themselves down on the sword in penance-my advice just be real and he who is without sin feel free to cast the first stone.

An Afternoon with the Ancients




















Weight
I spent the afternoon with the ancients
Tall dark shadows on a primeval landscape.
Could have collapsed on the path
But let’s call it the awe and beauty of nature
It overwhelmed me
But this is why I changed my life
The simplest thing, fitness
So the mountain ahead might become the friend
And never the adversary
That the feeling of freedom might one day
Be savored more sweetly
How sad the legs that can not take the weight
Of ones own leisure
So unfortunate the weight of ones body
when it’s the burden on the soul
Light
The paintbrush lights the way
glimmers of light in an ancient forest
deep dark paths mark the journeys of centuries
shadows deep and hallowed, keep us calm
and contained, a silence
even among the crowds of faces all in awe
and the light, a brilliant light
touches greens and amber all along the path
I am lost in the intricacies of leaves
the maize of cryptic branches
God, the amazing artist
touches the canvas with colors
and I give up all my brushes
a photograph is barely a snippet
of the wonder
Muir agrees, there is nothing more
I can bring to this place
exquisite light through
ancient trees.


Conversation
I cherish our conversation
as the forest listens intently
there is laughter like music
a stellar jay in forest undergrowth
mocks us
but we insist
even as my oxygen level wanes
I’ll never complain
we walk through shadows
and glimmer in rich spectacles of light
I can barely capture this moment
my photos seem like snapshots
to the spectacle of one short afternoon
an amazing moment of sharing words
all the conversations with you

The Pacific at Sunset

Our lives move too quickly to stop some times. There is always something to do, something that has worth for our sense of duty, family responsibility and profession that call us to work strange hours and even while we leave the hum of the office, it still follows us into our personal lives. I am a firm believer not to let that time slip by-my son often keeps me grounded by this particular attempt at stopping the flow of time. We will go to a restaurant and I will plan on bringing the food home and he will insist, let’s stop and eat it here-that simple task of stopping and eating a meal without the distraction of the television or things I have to do at home makes the difference between a meal on the fly and a real chance to connect after a busy day. We can learn much from our kids.
In that same vain, I watched the sun go down over the Pacific this evening. I can’t tell you how amazing the feeling was, having your best friend, and a loyal dog by your side to stop and feel the sand beneath your feet and the cold pacific waves up to our knees. It changes, the colors, the air, the whole scene changes from a misty view of the city and the bay bridge to a dark silhouette of the golden gate bridge against a molten sky of reds and golds. We laughed, we watched the dog run and play in the waves, he seemed to want to announce to everyone that he was at the ocean and he was excited-not many of the people that were involved in their headphones and evening walks understood his language but I did.
I watched someone balancing a bottle on their head-okay its California-a lot of Zen things but I appreciated it. I enjoyed listening to families and friends enjoying the last bit of the sun and the cool refreshing sound of a high-tide. I wondered if they appreciated it like I did-I don’t get to see the ocean often from my Dallas vantage point and I stopped and truly savored it much like the wine I had savored previously that day.
There is too much that passes by us in our daily life and unfortunately time doesn’t allow for us to stop and take much of anything in. I enjoyed every color, every subtle hue and every sound and smell as if it were a smorgasbord to the senses. I pinned that moment down in my memory and I will forever savor just a few moments watching and truly experiencing the Sunset over the Pacific.


What’s so wonderful about Sonoma?

It looked very much like a painting from Monet, you sit under a grove of trees and enjoy the richness
and conversation of this amazing place and did I mention you relax, you really relax-so did the dog.
You always hear people rave about Sonoma or Napa and I have always wondered, is it the place or is it the fact that there is wine flowing regularly and really good wine at that. I’m not a wine expert but after a visit to the “wine country” I feel savy enough to at least talk about wines with some form of understanding be it limited. Even just saying the phrase wine country makes me feel like I should be a bit snobbish but I returned not only wiser but still quite humble-wine is a lot more complex than one would think.
My suggestion, go out there with an open mind-it’s amazing how wonderful things happen without having set expectations. We went with the needs of a dog in mind-sounds kind of odd but as open and animal friendly as California is, there are places that don’t allow dogs. So we found top places that were kind to our four legged brethren.
The First place we went was Bartholomew Park winery-it is a boutique winery which means several things when looking it up on google, but the basic idea is hand-made, micro-lot, single vineyard wines available exclusively from the vineyard-that’s from the vineyard text. When we first arrived, I was in awe about how my heart rate seemed to slow and the intoxication of the surroundings seemed to naturally relax me. There are golden grape vines with vivid leaves, some harvested and others with great juicy clusters bursting from the vines. You are surrounded by mountains on either side, soft rolling mounds of green that build a feeling of calm and contentment. There were fountains and flowers and the light was amazing making an early afternoon look more like the electric hour as everything just seemed to glow in warm green and gold. In every direction I could just get lost in the open, natural beauty and imagine hundreds of years of wine harvest that enriched the area and more than pleased its patrons.
We had a food plate to complement the wine- everything on the black slate tablet was amazing from the incredible olives to the delicious crustini with a dip of goat cheese pesto. Our wine expert was well versed in her craft and I learned so much about wine names, wine locations-the Europeans describe their wines by the region we Americans tend to describe them by the species of grape. I have never had a more pleasing taste of zinfandel or realized before why some wines are white, red or rose. I also learned about tannins and sulfites, and how crisp whites come from stainless steel fermenting and some of the chardonays and the heavier reds come from oak barrels. I even voiced some buzzwords out and we laughed at my obvious lack of being a connoisseur but I feel I left the vineyard quite a bit more knowlegable and loving wine even more than previous. So why do I love wine so much-personally it is the soothing high that you get from drinking it. It is almost like the earth giving you a feeling of calm and contentment with a wonderful flavor that changes and evolves as you slowly savor it-and yes a good wine needs to be savored-okay now I’m sounding snobby.
Next we went to a local whole foods market and got gnosh-okay now I’m really getting into this whole language. We decided to have a picnic at the next winery-Kunde. I got to enjoy a cave tour where the sweet smell of oak barrels filled with assorted varieties of amazing wine filled the room at a cool 57%-I was in heaven. I learned that not all barrels are created equal, some are burned inside, others burn the top or bottom, some are from France, some from Germany with varying prices and intent as prescribed by the wine maker. We even got to taste the swollen ripe grapes that were so sweet and like no other grapes I have tasted-I became not only a bigger fan of wine but I now have more appreciation for the wonders of the grape.
The picnic was just wonderful as the wine-I really fell in love with the sauvignon blanc- very crisp and delicious with a fruity finish. Wow I am really learning the whole dialogue. But enough about my wine prowess or lack there-of, I promised I wouldn’t become a snob. So what’s so wonderful about Sonoma?-for me, it’s just the feeling of passion that these wine growers and manufacturers exude that seems a breath of fresh air in this fast paced, packaged society we live in. It is the true quality of what they make and how everything they do is purposeful and steeped and tradition and quality. I tasted the best grapes I’ve ever tried from one hundred plus year old zinfandel vines-these old vine zinfandels are quite a sight to see. I imagined generations of wine growers and their families living off and giving back to the ground. And just as much as the amazing wine and interesting people it is the peaceful calm of the haven that is Sonoma that you could not help becoming intoxicated with its charm and beauty. I will be back and not just for the wine.

Caladesi Island State Park Florida

We paddled out across the blue green expanse, about two miles or so and it was like being explorers discovering a new and unknown paradise. Okay, other people had found it but with the wide open, uncrowded area of bay that surrounded the island state park the feeling of peace and freedom was amazing. We could see the bottom for most of the way out with schools of bait fish running through the clear water and an occasional stingray dashing across the white sand.
We paddled the kayaks to where we could get out and stand in the shallow flats, being not as prepared as the rest of the group, I spent more time keeping my kayak from wandering off. No one caught anything but a man on a paddle board came by and mentioned he could see a small school of bonnet head sharks, they are small hammerhead sharks and I was disappointed that I didn’t get a glimpse of them. 
We all hung around  the pass, parked the kayaks and watched as a storm passed us by and the cool breeze was so welcome after paddling across the bay. I will have several paintings of this area with the storm and the silhouettes of fisherman. I also found some horseshoe crabs along the beach and interesting birds and wildlife. It was such a beautiful day and even though we didn’t catch much, a bad day fishing is better than any good day at work.

How far is too far? Out of cell service, unprepared, stressed-

Our whole trip was originally planned around a trip to Kentucky and more specifically Dale Hollow Lake. We were going on a guided smallmouth bass trip and hoping the elusive fish wouldn’t skunk us again. I should have realized how far off the map we were when we arrived at the lake with no cell service.

After a long day of travel through the southern portion of Kentucky, a two mile trek deep into the longest cave in the US-Mammoth Cave-a 400 mile long cave system. I was disgusted when they looked at me and asked if I was okay for the tour-I did just fine by the way, just fine. It’s a dramatically large cave right up until you get into the depths where you are squeezing through tight areas-it seems every time we explore a new cave , there is always something different from the wildlife to the stalagmites and cave bacon, for Mammoth cave I would say it was the size of the ceiling and the history  that was literally etched on its walls.

After driving all day, we were ready to relax and enjoy our cabin. Unfortunately I learned that in Tennessee-we needed a youth license even though my son was only fifteen-can’t find his social security card and can’t buy his license without it, try to explain to someone on the phone how to find the paperwork where his number would be-unfortunately very weak cell service and short memory on my part made this very difficult. There was one place where we could use the cell, on the top of the mountain, in a small area where we must have looked like lurking criminals parked on the side of the road in the middle of the night.

Stressful, frustrating evening finishes out a rather exhausting day. Up early to go fishing, misplaced license, unprepared for eight hours on a boat and another day we end up fatigued instead of relaxed. I was the only one that caught a smallie and it was a pretty reasonable size. Now I realize that eight hours on a lake when your not catching anything is a bit tiring especially when it’s unseasonably warm. It always seems that there is a point in a vacation where the fatigue or the cost of the trip catch up with you or perhaps its just the fact that face it, you always forget something or fail to prepare-in the end it’s what you do with it that preserves the memory for the better.

Next on our agenda was Gatlinburg, an amazing ski town in south east Tennessee. I’ll be honest I was looking forward to being in a  town that had lots of people and was less remote. First stop, a small barbecue shop that my son found in man vs food-it was in Knoxville Tennessee-Dixsons’ Barbecue, the idea of finding great places to eat has turned into the texture of this trip and my son has not failed as of yet, Dixsons’ was no exception. A very modest trailer with a very interesting cook who I would have loved to spend the afternoon talking with and in retrospect we probably should have. We had these ribs that had a spicy kick that we have tried to decipher but it was an incredible taste and well worth the trip. The presentation, wrapped in tinfoil and put in a paper bag, felt like locals and one actually did remorse the fact that there weren’t as many true quality barbecue left in Knoxville-we were happy to have experienced it.

I fell in love with  Gatlinburg right away, even before we got to  Gatlinburg. There is a long road through Pigeon Forge with amazing buildings and tourist attractions that felt like we had taken a turn to fantasy land. From Dollywood to the Titanic and wonderworks-we were intrigued by the different activities that we could experience in Pigeon Forge and we definitely will return to explore all the bits of fantasy you can experience just in view of the Great Smoky Mountains. We were on to Gatlinberg and I was happy to get there.

Artist Senses

Where would the artist find the colors
When he’s moving too fast to feel them
To taste the flavor
Of daylight…
To immerse in evening splendor
The smell of honeysuckle and jasmine
The feeling of the seasons like the main course
Of a meal
Its amazing how the senses all connect
All complement each other
Though we rarely connect them
Or imagine tasting the sweet viridian
Of early spring all fragrant and gently hued
Or thirsting for the autumn evening Prussian blue
A taste of burning wood and the sweet sadness
Of endings and decay
How does an artist find their colors, or feel alive

Without devouring the senses this way

The first day of the creative spring

Cannas_from the Cape San Blas Series

I have been walking around in somewhat of a daize as of late. Ideas come in bits of clips, it’s almost like trying to build a house when all you have are screws and a couple of wooden boards-nothing materializes but the parts seem to overwhelm you. I should be patient by now having gone through this process for so many years but it seems the older I get the more profound and extreme the stages seem to be.

I have played with multiple ideas and images in my mind, stories and poems need to be written out in notes just to keep the initial inspiration but nothing gels. I have actually recently walked into my studio after insisting I was going to paint this  particular weekend and when I am faced with empty canvases or even canvases well on their way to something I stare vacantly with nothing there. I even try to rotate a canvas out for another and switch to pastel but then end is always the same-NOTHING.

I can even force myself through and get to that point of pushing paint around but it is like painting with no instructions. I have compared it to someone painting by numbers and suddenly all the lines and numbers disappear. Than there are days like yesterday-a painting that sat there staring back with discontent and suddenly we are on the same page again-or canvas. I almost equate the canvas like a teen that can’t explain what is bothering them and suddenly we have that cathartic talk and not only do I know what the problem is now I have a way to solve it.

Urban Sunset

I sat in front of four paintings for short bursts of time and than suddenly within hours I have several different clarified paths that actually seem to be heading in a great direction. The problem with the creative process is that tomorrow they can all seem like disasters-it’s almost like the creative eye opens and you can see the details that the logical eye seems unable or unwilling to connect. Suddenly the big blob of paint becomes the shadow that instinctively knew where it needed to fill and the form that seemed so cryptic previously lends itself to the correct perspective and the right hues and values. I am about to go in and paint again-not only has this weekend brought lots of painting but my words are actually falling off the page as well-in the creative realm it rains or it shines but oh when it shines it really seems more brilliant than  anything in comparison.

Carmens’ Delicious Catering: Food as Art, Art as Food

Carmen’s Delicious Catering has this as a tag line for their product, it comes from the fact that during the process of the business becoming what it is today she had lots of interactions with artists such as the pilchuck glass school. In truth cooking in the hands of a passionate artist heightens simple food to the essence of a work of art.
Consider the cook as a painter only their palette has even more colors than the artist, their colors are the many flavors they weave together much like a painting-each flavor supporting or interacting with the other. The wonderful thing about food is beyond just the flavor there is texture, presentation and aromas-when done correctly the simple meal touches all parts of the senses even further than the two dimensional canvas.
The secondary dimension of food is much like the flavors in wine, the fact that you don’t only see, smell and taste-you experience. Food becomes the tradition; the amazing memory-it attaches itself to places and people.  Food reminds us of our relatives, it brings back conversation and a sense of tradition.

Food colors our vacations, our travels to far off places and instills itself in culture and tradition, Which brings us to another of carmens’ tag lines-Bringing people together through food-it is often the centerpiece for good times. It complements our celebrations and brings comfort to our difficult times, it is the warm soup after shoveling snow, and it is the cool ice tea and bowl of fruit in the heat of summer.  Speaking of the bowl of fruit, how many artists have painted the still life and showed us how food is art and art in response is food.