Notice the crystal clear water and the waves-beautiful and intimidating.

This is the first kayak trip of our road trip and at this point I am rethinking the whole idea. I can’t say it was wonderful. I have gotten to the point where every kayak trip lately has been amazing and relaxing but not this one. It was cold, windy and the water kept threatening with extreme winds and higher waves. It’s a bit unnerving to be on a kayak drifting very quickly away from the shore. Of course, my son seemed indifferent to our impending doom as there were small mouth bass to be caught and that’s all that mattered.

I never did get to the point of being relaxed, I was watching waves smash the front of the kayak and thinking the swim back would’ve been rough if not impossible. My son’s idea of grabbing on to the kayak and just towing back to shore didn’t seem like a working process either as feeling the icy chill of the water, we realistically wouldn’t have the physical strength in our hands nor the clarity of mind to hold on to a kayak and be towed to shore, all of these thoughts kept me a bit on edge to say the least.

I have mentioned before my lack of comfort on open water-again why am I kayaking with a fear of open water? I have gotten mostly past this idea and that fear seemed distant at best with the reality of the peace that kayaking brings me. The fear was back and rampant and maybe for good reason-instinct to survive. Being out on rough water reminds me of riding a horse, you have to show the animal that you are in charge, right up until it bucks you and shows its not only not buying it but can throw you with very little effort, so is the lake water. The waves smash against the front of your boat and as much as you act like your in control it shows you very quickly how fast it can turn you over and change the whole day.

The water is clear and amazingly fresh-there is a sweetness you can smell- a fragrance I can barely describe. The waves are almost a pale malachite color-so beautiful and yet still rather grumpy this early March afternoon. My legs are still sore from standing in the fifty degree water and in an attempt to keep warm I have over layered myself with jackets, now you start to sweat and at the same time the awkwardness of being wrapped up too tight brings back that familiar awkward feeling. I stop along the way only to get slammed into the rocks and tangled up in my fishing line. Like I said, a bit uncomfortable and most intimidating.

Another problem we were both experiencing was the lack of energy. The eggs we intended to have before kayaking turned into grey mush with a very strong wind and a lack of good firewood or charcoal.  We ended up having to charge our engines with sunflower seeds and cliff bars-tasty and all but we needed more nourishment to keep up strong against the winds and waves. It ended with an exhausted kayaker still hungry and a son who was disgusted with the fore mentioned kayaker unable to maintain body heat and interest in kayaking.

The rest of the day was wonderful and an amazing thing happened, I found my relaxation. My son went fishing while I sat down and wrote, sketched and took in all the amazing nature that surrounded me. I photographed what was around me and just had an incredible moment to find my inner self that needed so much to feel the silence and beauty of the outdoors-my first feeling of being detached and peaceful.

Okay I’ll admit it, my body does not like the cold ground or the ground doesn’t appreciate being laid on all night-one of the two. The final conclusion is that we are not friends and I nor my back are as young as we used to be. I feel like someone has beaten every bone in my body. It only lasts a short time after waking up but the time it lasts is brutal. One positive thing about the ground is that it must have a chiropractic effect because although my muscles are sore my back has never felt better. A solid support is good for the back, it must be the cold that effects the muscles.  I realize with age that I have a bit less tolerance for cold as well a truth that is lost on my son who seems indifferent to my plight. Another problem with age is the need to sleep, not the quick realization of the sun and running out to see whatever wildlife I can find, instead I want to sleep trying to hide my eyes from the sun.

I remember when I was very young, I used to go outside as soon as the light came through the window. We used to stay in an A-frame house in Promised Land State Park. While the adults were drinking coffee and enjoying what to me was mundane conversation, I was out there enjoying every bit of nature I could find, including the occasional deer, bear and raccoon. Now I sure could use a great mundane conversation and a cup of coffee would be great as well.

One final post about the ground, as not to beat a dead horse, or a cold solid -well you get it. My son has never seen a shooting star, it always happens in his peripheral view and he always seems to just miss it.
He talked me into something that was both childish and uncomfortable but an amazing experience we will both remember. He wanted to lay on the ground at night and watch the stars trying to catch a glimpse of a shooting star. It would be a great idea and one I would be all for if it wasn’t for the fact that the landscape around the lake is all stones and cold wet sand. We compromised, we sat and watched and than laid down on a couple of rocks and watched the stars. I assume neighbor campers must have thought we were crazy but it was very cool. I used to lay on the hood of a car up in Pennsylvania and watch for shooting stars, but now we were on the soil with a softer rock-not really-under my head watching a great expanse of lights stretched to every direction we could see. I guess so much for me and the ground not being friends as it was quite enjoyable and my back remained intact, even though the muscles were a bit aggravated for a bit of time.

Original photo sketch for the fishermen

Initial sketch for the fishermen

All I can say is the universe and all of its amazing attributes is breathtaking when you stop and look at it. Not only is it amazing on the first look but it is changing constantly. At first there were a faint pepper of light stars that looked like celestial clouds with a deep blue aura broken only by the moonlight. The lake reflected the light so perfectly and the trees framing it was simple and stunning. We discussed the universe and the fact that many of the stars we see have long since perished. I saw three shooting stars that he barely got a chance to see-again in the peripheral view. We discussed the Milky Way and I realized how little I know about Astronomy and how much more I need to know. Next time
we take a trip like this we will have a
telescope and a bit more knowledge.

I plan on painting this scene as well-a star filled sky with accurate depiction of the star layouts-I’ll let you know how well that goes. I will post it as an update but there will be several moon scenes both in pastel and oils. The image I included on this post will be the reflection of the stars and be created as a night scene. Two other images that will be taken from this trip is a painting of the fishermen, an image of the light reflecting off of the water with just silhouettes of several fishermen or woman for that matter.

It’s amazing how much you talk and the interesting things a father and son can talk about when you stop and observe, so many things we have interests in learning more about, so many thoughts and ideas you never get a chance to talk about when we life such a  busy life. We found a bit of ourselves under the stars and we will both never forget it.

Spring break 2013-go out and find nature and maybe even some peace and understanding along the way. We loaded up the kayaks and we’re off to Grand Lake of the Cherokees in far north Oklahoma. Every time I plan one of these trips  there are always so many options for the trip to go south and believe me I think of every one, car trouble, bear attack-ok maybe the roaming serial killer but this trip I would say was pretty amazing. My son and I had planned this for the last six months. Sometimes I equate a trip like jumping out of an airplane-you plan for it, train for the jump and learn about your parachute but there is always that moment in the airplane where you hesitate so embarking on a trip out in the middle of nowhere and camping for the next week-it’s a bit  intimidating.

Our original plan was to go straight up to Grand Lake but leaving later than expected and an inability to get myself into that checked out feeling made us change our plans. We ended up going to Lake Murray near Ardmore Oklahoma. We found a spot to camp on buzzard’s roost. We met these two wildlife biology students and really enjoyed their company. We brought steelhead trout, they brought the s’mores we forgot to bring-what’s a camping trip without s’mores right? We shared much about our interests in wildlife and shared a fire. All I can say about camping is if you allow it, you can meet some great people and learn about other peoples lives and interests. I think camping brings out the sense of community we have lost in our daily lives and from the looks of it most of us are very anxious to be social even if it’s a bit of an awkward skill.

I forgot how much I missed the electric hour and how the light plays on the water and makes the mundane amazing. Tucker tower was lit in the distance, an amazing sight as the sun went down and we pitched our tent. We have a really small simple tent, very easy to setup and comfortable to sleep in. My son was embarrassed by my need to have a blow up mattress-I am wimp by his view but a wimp with a really bad back-I lost the fight the first night but the second night with the arrival of another camper next to us that just happened to be blowing up their mattress found it appropriate to blow up ours. It kept us warm and comfortable above the ground but soon left us on the cold, solid and very uncomfortable ground. We definitely need to check to see if we can find the leak as I like waking up being able to move and the ground tends to be a bit cruel on a back that is out of alignment.

In the morning we felt the cold windy day we had in store for us, even the geese seemed a bit uncomfortable going into the water. We met several friends that kept us company along the way, several Canadian geese. The water seemed cold, rough and unfriendly to me, the idea of getting wet did not seem like a good idea at all. Being less of a wimp than my son gives me credit for, we did it-the only ones out there beside one boat, everyone else was hiking dressed all warm and we were getting into the water.

I have a description of the first kayak trek which will be in my next blog post. It wasn’t the most enjoyable and was more exhausting and stressful than I would have preferred and I believe I was still in city in my mind-not quite detached and relaxed yet. My son loving Lake Murray as he does wanted to stay two nights, which was fine with me but I really wanted to get up to the north and closer to the mountains of the Ozarks but I think I needed the ease in to the vacation and it was helpful to allow me to find that sweet spot of relaxation going into the trip. There needs to be a buffer between your life and stopping your normal tendency to stress and pay attention to all things not peaceful, Such is life I guess.

Stay tuned for the next installment-getting wet and loving it? It’s windy and cold, let’s get in the water?
It’s so cold even the loons are looking at us strange, can I change my mind???? It’s cccccold and windy? All of these are possible titles but it all works out. Until the next get out and explore. Are you ready to explore? Map a place on the map, find several places of interest and get out there.

Well I’m in an odd place in the series which I would almost call an addendum to the previous series. It would be adequate to use that term if it weren’t for the fact that this series is taking off in a great departure from the previous and will stand on its own as a new series for 2013. Here is the strange place as I have in the past mentioned that there are points in the creative process where you feel like you are painting someone else’s painting and it has always been an awkward and never a positive place to be which usually hints to the end of a great creative state. I am having the same feeling with this series only with an amazing positive twist.

Now I feel like I’m painting someone else’s painting but instead of being awkward and tagging along I feel I am looking over an other’s shoulder. You can call it anything you want but I consider it a divine intervention. I am painting from perspectives I have never even tried to attempt and for some reason-right now, it’s working. As not to bore the reader I will explain three paintings that I just worked with today and try to not go into too much detail about any one.

First, I started painting today without a clear vision of what I wanted to accomplish, I just knew I wanted to paint and had a bit of time available for it. I started on a completely new painting called moon  flower. It is the view of a large tree from the bottom of its trunk. You are looking up into the moonlit sky and the peripheral images are faded and dark. Your attention is taken by the large, almost surreal moon flowers- I am right in the middle of detailed and accurate detail and soft dreamlike areas without much detail. I want the viewer to feel the dreamy affect of the background and the moon but still can ponder on the detail and accuracy of the moon flowers which glow in the moon filled sky. The view of the image is already awkward and you feel a bit off balance and I haven’t even filled in all of the detail and added the visual cues to show you how high the tree is from your vision.

The next painting is a bridge-it’s a simple bridge image and that is the beauty of it, it kind of painted itself, it is from a walk I took with my son. It is almost monochromatic blue, again detail in the extreme close up of the rocks and than it fades into  the distance of an overcast sky. It is a basic landscape but the light and shadows are extreme and atmospheric.

The last painting is a field, the same I have driven by for so many years and have captured in my memory and have attempted to capture in previous images. Now the image is all about detail and the light in the sky, a road comes up to meet you as you look through a deep mesh of wild sunflowers reflecting the last bit of light from the sunset that is disappearing in the pink and amber sky.

I am excited about the direction and the intensity of colors and lights balanced with a darkness that was previously common in older works. I also intend on working more extremely cold and detailed images of rivers in Yosemite and Montana so stay tuned. I look forward to the next series and look forward to your comments and critiques. Thanks for reading.

My first portrait, this painting began probably two years ago and I’ve put it aside, picked it up and put it aside again. In the manic state of painting these days it seemed appropriate to finish. I have always thought that if you truly observe  an image you can paint anything-I think a landscape painter should be able to paint a portrait and a still life painter should be able to paint a landscape because the observation is the same.

I feel the same, although with added thoughts to the process. There are disciplines to each subject matter and there are shortcuts that the expert portrait painter can use in their tool box that the landscape painter may have to take the long route and there is a difference between the mastered portrait and the first portrait. I do believe as artists we are called to capture illusions and capture correctly what we see.
One thing I have learned in the process of painting a portrait is I love detail more than I thought-I love the discipline of tighter brush work, I like the need to really get the individual objects correctly. It has been a great exploration and an added burst of enthusiasm for painting.

Discipline of Portraiture

There is a  discipline that the portrait painter must practice. I have learned techniques in landscapes which contrast with a trend to go easier  on  details, so how do we get a happy medium between detail and less detail. I’m excited about upcoming paintings and the need to be more pains taking about detail and the use of light and shadow and will definitely paint another portrait and have even more respect for masters of the portraiture. I look forward to do more detail in the eyes, which this squinting image didn’t give me the option for. What do you think? Would love any comments-positive or negative. Thanks
for reading.

This post is about creativity-where does the initial spark begin? Did you have a specific artist or painting that inspired you to start painting? For me, I’ve been creative in some form or another for as long as I can remember and not being creative would be like not being myself. To me it’s how you approach problems and how you see life.

I remember not being able to draw well at all-my brother at a very young age was able to draw dinosaurs so much better and I aspired to draw as well. So as I got older and nature became a major inspiration and a constant impetus for my creative process. As I got older I was always either photographing or painting, for years I would go for six months of doing each until the eye changed from photographic to painting oriented and back. During this time the writing was always a staple, whether it was short stories or poetry.

During certain periods in my life I have lost all contact with painting and creativity and it was isolated to just the writing which never stops its seems, I say that thankfully. I believe these points of valleys in the creative process were just learning points where I was gathering all the things I had learned in the previous creative sessions. So this answers the question of where does the passion go. We get lost in our lives and often as much as we’d like it to be, creativity can not be a priority as our family and duties in life pull too strong for us to maintain this secondary life of the creative.

We must remain in essence young, retaining a portion of our inner child to maintain the process that is creativity. I believe getting older often is a weight that crushes the inner child, between rejection, self doubt and the loss of time to stop and notice things the eyes of the creative can easily become jaded and the act of being creative turns into a pointless endeavor. The logical side of the adult is more aware and concerned about daily duties and staying busy-the creative must maintain the view of a child and protect the fact that it is not a option to be creative but an integral part of one’s being.

Turn off the radio, TV, read about things that inspire you, collect things that are interesting and never stop trying to see things from the innocents and open eyes of a child. We may, as artists, be able to submerge our integral creative spirit beneath the logic and chaos of our lives but believe me there are consequences. The day you look at a sunset and realize it does nothing for you, or listen to an amazing bit of music and it is just sound-you know you’ve strayed too long. So be creative, realize it is almost important as the job you keep or the daily duties you perform.

Do you agree with my premise? How do you keep your creative spark alive and have you ever lost it for any amount of time? Comments welcome-thanks for reading.

Who has the time for so many things creative and not? I love being a single dad and although it fills much of my time I am always able to squeeze some hour out of the day for creative release. My son being fourteen needs to have a bit of time for himself as well, so any time available must be used wisely. Luckily for me as a creative as previously mention I have a short attention span and an hour of painting is usually adequate for a day.

The thing that is interesting about the process of grabbing a bit of time for being creative is the fact that I am able to give so much more of myself after I’ve given to the creative process. It’s almost as if the slate is clean for a bit, allow some of the creative juices to flow and than I can be normal for a while without the angst to go create something.

Other places I’m able to steal time to be creative is on the road, I like to text long creative texts while I’m on the highway-I’m kidding, just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. I like to think a lot while driving and many inspirations come to me while driving. This awareness of the time is actually the state of taking time instead of letting time slip by.

This aspect of time management may seem a no-brainer but it is notable that one must cease the time they can to be creative and to live creatively. Time passes us quickly-squeeze as much life and creativity out of every bit. How do readers like to steal those moments of being creative? What time of day are you most creative and are able to save time to paint? Would love some comments. Thanks
for reading.

This is the first in a series of cartoons on critics. First off-critics are helpful and very purposeful in some aspects of the creative world-critics such as John Ruskin come to mind. The other side of the critic is the legless man that teaches running-to be really cliche, but it is accurate. There are several reasons for the negative side of being a critic.

I have noticed a lack of knowledge or security can make those in the position of being a critic that much more critical and not always with enough knowledge or insight to correct a design problem. Another reason for the lack of quality or a critics ability to be objective is the would-be artist that always wanted to be an artist or creative but never quite had the skill or ability- this would be a problem of envy or ego getting the better of an otherwise constructive viewer. A final reason for the negative or nonconstructive critic would be the fear of failure which would be a corporate problem with the creative project. This would also include the idea of having too many people having input into a single idea. Again to be cliche but there is a reason for the old saying-too many cooks spoil the broth.

 Creativity in itself is so subjective, one persons masterpiece is an other’s paint pallet, in  a corporate setting you can not please all eyes and attempting to please all eyes will get you a watered down design with flaws that happened by too many ideas and options trying to fit into one design. In this instance usually the intricacies and spontaneous process of the original creative is usually lost, the colors don’t work anymore as originally intended and objects tend to overcrowd or fight with each other for attention.

To go back to the idea of the helpful critic- a second pair of eyes will many time refine the often original rough creative thought so working with a single or minimal decision makers can really make a great design better. Again, realize that the customer is always right even when they are dead wrong-we as artists can sway and attempt to move them in the right direction for the success of a project but in the end it is their project. My best advice is to work with clients that have strong ideas and if they don’t have strong ideas at least they are open to new thoughts and have good ideas to lead the process.
Luckily for the painter or independent artist, they always have the last say-your customers or patrons will than either buy or you get to hang a wonderful masterpiece on your own wall-that’s the trade off.

Do any designers reading have stories of how a project went from good to bad to worse? Do any readers know about designing by committee or being micromanaged? All comments and thoughts on the critic-the good, the bad, the ugly-would love to hear it. Thanks for reading.

I’ve had a few days of break from painting and the problem with this is that I either come back into the series really strong or completely feeling like I’m working with someone else’s vision. I have had some blank spots where I don’t have any idea of what to paint never mind how to get into the process and be able to see in a somewhat subconscious state. This is the reason why I have had so many paintings waiting to be completed-years of these mental blocks.

Another aspect is switching gears between designing for clients and getting to your own vision is the fact that between work and home there is no break to allow for that change of thought and priority. Tonight was surprisingly productive, even if it doesn’t really feel like it now. I am working on a waterfall scene of Turner Falls Oklahoma and in the middle of the process I felt like I was getting too thick with paint and losing my clarity of water but tonight I was able to freshen the image and just about complete the painting. Something I struggle with a problem of jumping into the immediate inspiration and knowing exactly what needs to be done but the peripheral image sometimes falls short and I  think that is what holds up finishing a painting.

One great thing I learned from teaching painting is with some discipline and ignoring the hesitation and overwhelming state of details, you can get through a block and continue to paint. I feel the reason I have been able to finish so many recent paintings is because of the discipline I learned through having a student and a certain amount of time to paint whether I was in the mood or felt overwhelmed I had to continue and work through the block.

So my question to other artists-what are your obstacles in the creative process and if you work through them are you able to continue painting? Do you have a problem working between your own stuff and commissions or freelance work? How do you get past mental blocks when it comes to creativity?
Thanks for reading and keep being creative.