I joined an art contest with the Artist Round of Rowlett-paint Rowlett. The contest has an element of painting on the scene and I don’t think I have ever enjoyed the experience as much. I have made sketches, painted basic shapes and colors and with photography I will continue in the studio perfecting the images. The exciting thing about the process is how fast and immediate the image and expression is.

Continuing on the recent change in the way I work compositions- I have never been more clear and focused on the finished product. I have started three paintings and they are all so on the spot that I feel I have captured the initial feeling that attracted me to the scene. I also figured out very quickly what in each scene I was going to focus on in capturing or saying something specific in each scene.

The first image is of a cemetery, it’s the first time I actually painted a cemetery which is odd because the peaceful and yet surreal feeling of being alone in a cemetery would lend itself to some of the images I paint. In this scene I concentrated on a shaft of light that back lit the stones and lit up the trees around the cemetery. I want the viewer to be able to look into infinity beyond the stones, almost a statement of the feeling of eternity. I want the viewer to get lost in the light and shadows of the trees allowing them to concentrate on the elements that surround the stones and perhaps get that peaceful yet haunted feeling I get when walking in a cemetery.

The next image I was very excited about because it is a Koi pond and I was hoping to capture the feeling of the cold depths of the pond but instead a certain bird of paradise plant and a gathering of dragonflies created the scene. The scene will actually be a portrait of the plant with the light and shadows of the Koi pond in the background-a bridge brings you into the distance but the image is becoming more intimate. I want the viewer to feel as if they are sitting by a pond in the late afternoon without the mosquitoes and high humidity.

The final image is more in line with my normal images with a twist. I captured an image of Paddle Point on Miller Road-Again my first instinct was just the water but after seeing how the light created the scene, i decided the water would be more of a backdrop to the intense light that was dancing on the water and made the surface look like diamonds. I intend on adding ducks and some egrets as they were all around but they will add to the feeling of depth and give the lake a bit of space and time.

I am excited about the under paintings and will show the finals as they get more progressed.
Have you ever painted outdoors and how did it change the way you painted? Were you overwhelmed by the details or inspired by the spontaneity?

No really, what can I say-it is a writer’s worst nightmare when there is nothing there. We write
because we enjoy writing but more important I have always thought, we write to learn more about ourselves and the world we live in. Writing allows us to decipher our feelings and the state of who we are at any specific time, we allow our subconscious the ability to explore and redefine our thoughts and how we relate to society and those around us we call friends or acquaintances.

So what does a writer or poet for that matter do when there is nothing evidently up there to explore or decipher? I believe that this point for the creative person is actually the opposite of what it seems, there is too much to decipher and too much to explore and the brain has not yet processed or perfected the work of poetry or prose. I have always thought we go through points of growth, thought fermentation and finally creative explosions-each are dependent upon our experiences and how we change and grow as creative people.

When poems or writing finally comes out it seems to flow as if it were already written and it just needed hands without second guessing their processes. I believe the ferment process is probably one of the longest points of the creative process-for me, images, thoughts, emotions are quickly recorded on a daily and often constant basis-these thoughts and feelings attach to images that I see and experience every day. Slowly the words and thoughts attach to symbols in images as well as abstract connections to pictures that don’t even necessarily make logical sense.

Once the process of fermentation occurs, the words are pretty much formed and the poem is already written in memory. When the emotion or time lends itself, words come out eerily natural as if they had been formed long before they were written. All of the images that I see over that period of time become parts of different pieces of my writing without trying or questioning rhyme or flow. This process is called the trial web shift-this is a technique I have previously read about where you draw clusters of words and the poem or writing forms from that process, I have learned that my clustering seems to be done during the fermenting process and without actually drawing those words and clusters the connections are formed through time and experience intangibly.

One aspect of the feeling of the creative explosion for me is the lack of realization of any of the words I am writing-all of the words form quickly and I feel almost in a state of auto-pilot. The fingers type as if the work is being copied from somewhere but the state of creation is so hard to articulate because it is almost like being in a trance. After, usually fifteen or so poems, the words become slower to form and the conscious starts to be cognitive of logic and word choice and for me the flow is broken.

I have recently, unfortunately been in a growth period, following a state of a writers’ block that has been as overwhelming as it was depressing-The inability to write is like having so many thoughts and feelings in memory you can’t concentrate on the conscious state-this is not often conducive to having a normal busy life. So here we are again-ready to write on the other side of a seemingly hopeless block-hopefully the words will flow freely from here on-at least for a while.

What do you do to break a writer’s block and have you had that state of absence during the creative experience.

We went to Texoma again and I attempted a different option-less fishing rods and tools,  less
frustration and much more relaxing. The stripers were breaking the water again and my son did really
well, me not so much but I did get to relax. I decided to intentionally take a break and just enjoy being
on the water.

The waves were a bit intimidating, the wind kept messing up the surface and sending white caps
against our hulls. We stayed in a small cove and fished for a while until the wind got so strong we
were being pushed into shore. The satin grey waves reflected an intermittent cloudy horizon mixed
with a beautiful cerulean sky. There is something amazing about drifting with over the waves and the
cool breeze was a welcome change from the oppressive summer heat.

So my suggestions on how to change the feeling of stress and frustration to a peaceful beautiful day
on the water. First of all, don’t bring too many rods and too much equipment out on the kayak, try to
be a bit less complicated. Second, the stuff you do bring out, make sure it is in some sort of organized
state. Don’t use fishing line that tangles frequently-there is a certain type of line I don’t think I’ll be
using any more. Finally, bring snacks in an air tight box and keep nourished and hydrated. Doing all
of these things made a much more relaxing trip even though I didn’t catch any, it was a great day.

For more travel posts-Freedom to Roadtrip

Art Meets Poetry and Vice Versa | Artiscape Magazine

I was raised catholic, something that is somewhat synonymous with guilt and conscience, granted I think it was more filled with guilt and a sense of “never good enough” the generation before mine but I do get the idea of never quite measuring up as that perfect squeaky clean believer. This is not a review or commentary on the particulars of religion so before you close the page, feel at ease. This is a post about guilt and conscience-the good, the bad and the ugly.

As a basic idea guilt is something I feel is our morality compass, it tells us when we are straying or not doing what we feel is right or honest. Guilt can and has become something that gets under our skin when we feel guilty about not getting enough for our families for holidays or felt like we didn’t handle something the way we should have-this kind of guilt tends to cause our neurotic tendencies where we are always on the fence with what’s right or wrong and there are always family members that feed whether right or wrong into our guilt complexes we develop over the years. Guilt is pointless if we can’t do anything about what we are guilty about, there is a certain point where we need to leave that guilt behind and move on.

What I am writing about is the good guilt-the good guilt that these days has been painted over with rationalization and the old excuse life is too short. Guilt keeps us from doing what we shouldn’t do, regardless if it feels good or it’s not my fault. I believe there is right and there is wrong and unfortunately if you rationalize everything and justify everything you do, guilt takes a back seat to rationalization. I recently heard a commercial about a show about mistresses and the introduction was about it being a personal journey of discovery-your not cheating, your just discovering yourself-how quickly something wrong becomes something almost heroic. Another option-life is too short to put your kids first, you need to enjoy your life-you deserve it. All of these rationalizations allow good people to stray from what they think is wrong to justify anything that feels good.

I talked with a friend recently about woman and men being friends-I believe they can be friends but there needs to be a sense of respect and honoring each other first-with respect and sense of honor it keeps the relationship from going somewhere that would not be positive or right for either. This brings me to another aspect that we as a society have somehow lost-a sense of the acting exceptionally-we see this in our politicians and with a bit of tears and an apology they are back in politics. Shouldn’t we expect the highest standards of morals from each other and our politicians. We should but when we rationalize everything and make everything gray, there really isn’t nothing right or wrong-it has to do with what you feel at any given moment.

Before you think I am being sanctimonious, I am not standing in judgement of anyone, nor do I think any of us have that great position to judge others because we all have our character problems. What I am saying is that guilt is not such a bad thing and rationalization and justification is a  slippery slope. I feel like these days being empowered, we are empowered to do what we want because life is short. I think a little bit more guilt and a bit more expectation of a higher standard of moral character would go a long way in our society today where we are desperately trying to remove all expectations from our kids, our politicians and our society. There is right, there is wrong-guilt is the compass that keeps us on a path we can be proud to share with our kids and their kids so maybe we’ll have to apologize less.

What do we call home? Is it the place we are most content and welcome, does its style and decor say something about who we are and when we leave our childhood home, do we ever find that same contentment? I lived in the same house for eighteen years, when I left I don’t think I ever missed the house as much as I missed the neighborhood, the landscape and obviously my friends. I moved to Texas from New Jersey and I had missed home for many years following the move but it was the landscape and the actual state more than anything else.

I have not had that feeling of being so happy to live in a place for many years. This changed when I had a family of my own, suddenly I realized during a trip back home to New Jersey that my home was actually where my family and sons were. I was in the Newark Airport and couldn’t wait to get back to my house in Texas-the ideal of home became family, where ever your loved ones are is where you live and belong.

After being divorced, my world had a strange scattered feeling of living in a house and living in a bit of interim. I’ve never felt that feeling of settling in and I almost feel since leaving home as a child I have never fully settled anywhere. Now, it’s my son and I, where ever he is for now that is my home, even though the original feeling of being safe and content isn’t the same. It’s my job to make him feel content and belong-as he grows and starts his own life, college, his own family-my idea of home will change once again.

I look forward to living in a place that feels like I belong, where contentment is just spending time enjoying my space-not sure where that will be but I figure life is a journey to learn and realize where you fit in the scope of people, places and things. Until that day, my life tends to revolve around my son and I as we explore and experience all we can with every vacation or as time allows.

Where do you consider home? Have you ever felt that feeling of settling in and making a place home. Do you think we belong a certain place and when we find it we just know it? Would love to hear your thoughts and comments.

This post is about creativity and how it pertains to writing-stories versus poetry. I have been writing poetry since I was ten, the freedom of free verse allows words to flow without being edited or altered. I will usually come up with a title or a general theme, the words would flow through a basic initial impetus but would create their own meaning from a subconscious state. If I know or realize what I am writing, the flow is gone and I tend to ramble between images and colors without a clear agenda.

There is a fermentation of ideas that seem to write themselves, collected from various snapshots from multiple images and ideas from the previous days or weeks. If I stop to realize the process or even write down any words or ideas, the idea is usually broken and the flow is interrupted.

I have recently realized the same process with short stories with even a more dramatic departure. I have always had some sort of concept or idea where the poetry will flow toward, with the short stories it seems they have their own beginning and end but I am not always aware of the final product. It’s kind of like watching a movie as you are writing the script. You are playing in a scene and writing the process and atmosphere but you only have small bits of information to work from and the more I write the clearer the final process begins. Again, I feel it is a subconscious state that I write in and the connections and comparison are not often clear on the initial thought, symbols and ideas become images and lessons that seems to create themselves, I just sit back and watch as the story creates itself.

How do you create words, do they flow subconsciously or do you craft them from a conscious state? Do you see a difference between the two forms of expression? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Cape San Blas, good news, bad news-it’s off the grid and that’s the only thing possibly negative, otherwise the surrounding landscape is amazing. You are fifty miles from the nearby Walmart, decide what you’ll need and bring it there otherwise risk a lot of driving for anything you need. It’s an oasis, a faraway place where you are surrounded by the gulf of Mexico to the east and the pristine waters of the bay to the west. The water is crystal clear, the areas to fish, snorkel and just get away are just incredible.

On our arrival, the first reviews were mixed-it’s too far from everything but it is beautiful. The longer we were there the more the feeling of peace and detachment grew and the more the beauty of the place captivated us all. There are long strips of road with the bay on one side and tall amazing pines and palm trees silhouetted against a crystal clear turquoise backdrop. Everywhere I looked a new painting practically created itself, I am in the process of buying very large canvases for the images that I sketched out and in the end I plan on having a whole series dedicated to Cape San Blas.

We stayed in a condo that overlooked the ocean with a balcony in every room, the sunsets were amazing, the breezes across the water in the morning and evening were fragrant with the smells of the ocean and the silence was only broken by the sound of tree frogs and native birds in the many beautiful trees that surrounded the campus. Conveniently located just down the street was the St Joseph Peninsula State Park, this is where we did most of our fishing and snorkeling.



There are so many different places to see and experience, we saw a eight foot saw fish, a giant conch, many deer that seemed indifferent to our presence and the treat of a manatee in the waters near Mexico beach. We kayaked and snorkeled around the jetties at the state park and enjoyed catching speckled trout up and down the beach as the broke the surface chasing bait fish. Luckily for us the weather kept at bay right up until the last few days but we were able to do all of our outdoor activities. Another experience that I have never seen is a breaching manta ray-my son and I were on our kayaks and both of our jaws dropped in disbelief.


The seafood in the areas is very fresh and delicious, we were all able to get our fill by the time the week was over-a notable favorite was Sunset Coastal Seafood-If you like lobster, I would highly recommend the lobster ravioli. We were a bit early but if we could have stayed a few extra days scallop season was just beginning which made it an interesting time to be there. Another point of interest are the sea turtles that call the area their home, we didn’t see any but they are known to lay their eggs on the beaches near the park.



We visited nearby Mexico Beach where there are restaurants and beautiful white beaches. This is where we saw the manatee and got to see some wonderful sunsets. We also enjoyed amazing sunsets along the coast. We visited some gift shops and checked out the pier and the jetty.

They call this area the forgotten coast and the fact that you don’t find crowded beaches and bad traffic I understand why they called it that. It’s a bit further down the pan handle and a bit off the grid but it’s exactly what I look for in a vacation- I came back with much to write about and many paintings on the sketch pad. I would highly recommend getting off the grid, even if it’s just for a week. Walk the beach, find things, fish, kayak-try Cape San Blas-definitely worth the exploration.