Seeking Social – I went to Starbucks the other day. I am the one that always complains about how unsocial a coffee shop can be, still I’m the first to run in and run out without spending any time visiting. In my limited defense I do try to start conversation with those waiting for our morning ambrosia. I am quite impressed how quickly people that seem uninterested in speaking become very friendly and interested in sharing-community rests just beneath our thin veneer of habit and busy routine-I think we are all secretly longing for it.

It’s funny, the better they make options for us to be more social and connected the less social and connected we’ve become. I was and still am disgusted with the ideas that have recently been advertised to help our busy lives-don’t bother going into the gas station-just pay at the pump and be on your way, don’t go to the movie store, just pay for movies on line or at a box-I realize and miss the shrinking feeling of community that seems to be the evolution of the American society.

I’ve had the pleasure to walk through Dallas and I compare it to the suburbs as the last bit of youth and excitement before we retire to our quiet suburban lifestyle. People are still as social as they can be, they don’t have houses hanging over their heads or families to keep them busy-I’m talking about a younger area in Dallas-New York is perhaps a different story. I drive through the suburbs and somehow, especially in the older neighborhoods there is a feeling as if you are driving through a ghost town-I’m waiting for the day that the cardboard images fall down and realize we are all absent from our homes and families and this suburban lifestyle is just a mirage. Luckily for us we have sports and church activities that bring us together and you notice there is a remnant of community-again being completely honest I don’t get involved even if I long to-this isolation is perhaps a commonality we all share.

So how do we break this cycle? My first attempt and not a consistent one as of yet but here it goes-back to Starbucks. I decided I would sit outside and drink my coffee and maybe write in my journal, I was careful to find a chair that wasn’t connected to a group of people-I was looking to be alone after all. I hate to say it but again, it’s just a bad habit we have learned over the years. So to break my habit I reluctantly engaged another patron who chose a chair that was not connected to my table and since they were eating a snack I invited them to use the table I was sitting at. What followed was the conversation with a future filmmaker, I shared my experiences, he shared his and when we left we were both somehow better off for the experience.

I connected two pieces of fabric that would perhaps improve my future ability to bring people together. I am just as bad as everyone else trying desperately not to be social and yet feeling very distinctly the feeling of being separated from others I have an idea for Starbucks-start a game, a collective game where we all  participate if we want-perhaps it wouldn’t work and I would learn that we go to these coffee shops to be alone and dig ourselves into our communities on our large obstructive laptop screens but maybe we as a community are more open to being together than we even know-old habits are hard to break but I’m trying-one conversation at a time.