First of all, teens are teens, they are slowly breaking away from us and that is the truth and the way it is but there are moments when the parent and teen can transcend that feeling of being adversaries and lessons can be learned during the most interesting of times. The only reason I include this piece in the this life creatively is because how we deal and react with what happens often defines who we are and how we live our lives-be it creative, logical, aggravated, peaceful. There are many choices for us and how we live our lives and before I digress any further, I will explain.

I have had a shortage of peace in recent months, probably why my writing has been sparse, I am looking to feel that feeling that transcends understanding and lately I’ve just missed it. I feel often like my life is moving ridiculously fast and I am barely there for the ride, I am drifting with a violent tide that is promising to leave me a broken shell in the surf and I barely feel like I’m even there. So here is where the fish tank comes in-why would someone that is extremely busy and has a shortage of time and money decide to build a fish tank-it offers no logical theory-exit the logic, enter the creative.

My fourteen year old son finds an old thirty long tank in my studio and decides its time to start a fish tank, not only does he clean it out himself but he educates himself on the fish he wants to put in it. Here is another wonderful thing, it is an old passion I’ve had that I have stopped doing and now my fourteen year old not only wants to grow his interest but he wants me involved. We decide how much money it is going to cost and reluctantly I agree, the worth of us having another common activity that we both are passionate about seems like a no brainer and money well spent.

We set up the tank, pretty tank but it’s empty. Enter the helpful aquarium store person that tells us to start with a couple of fish, we reluctantly buy a couple of cichlids, stuff, more stuff and chemical kits to test the water, now my fourteen year old is even learning chemistry because it interests him not because he has to-another benefit. We are both learning more and more about the building of a tank and the fish that we can get for it. The conversation grows, both of our interest grows, my teen is enjoying a hobby and we are both igniting a passion for a childhood interest that I sadly grew out of. He was very stressed as the levels were high and attachment to the couple of fish where making us both feel a bit guilty about introducing them early, lesson learned-fishless cycles are great-patience is a virtue and impulse buys are over rated.

It has taken literally a month of waiting for the cycles to get where they’re supposed to be and this weekend we were finally going to put in fish. It’s probably the cheapest part of our purchase and after exploring for weeks several pet shops in the area, another old passion of mine-we decide to buy our fish at The Fish Gallery, a very amazing place for any aquarium enthusiast to visit. We bought four fish from there and another two fish at the local Petsmart, we got exactly what we wanted and both were excited about finally getting the tank done.

We enjoyed them for a good fifteen minutes, the fish seemed to love the home we made for them, including the holy rock and the plastic plants. They are adapting well with each other and I am excited about a nice nap and being able to paint and relax for the rest of the day. Five minute nap and those words a homeowner never wants to hear-we got a problem.

He comes running out just as my eyes close-we got a problem-the tank is flowing water out over the dresser and onto the rug, we are sunk. We cover the bottom of the tank with towels and decide to buy a new tank-I was easy and calm about the whole affair as we had both talked about our next endeavor being a 100 gallon tank for our living room. We go to the Pet Smart and buy a 55 gallon tank-why bigger you ask-because bigger is better and why not? We earned a bit better of a tank with all the stress, so we bring home a new tank and more sand and we tear down the old tank. Our first step is to stop the panic of the leaking, so we calmly got the fish to safety, eliminated the problem of the leaking tank, we were set to rebuild the tank. It went much quicker than I even imagined and before long, the new tank was on a dresser and we were adjusting the rock again. Unfortunately the tank was too close to the wall which didn’t allow us to put our larger filter in and more importantly, what we thought was a solid dresser was a sagging mess and the tank was taking its toll on the wood.

We drove to the store looking for a solution, I decided right than, a real stand that we can get to finish the job-our patient fish are in a small jug of water and we are both nervous about them dying from the stress. Our first objective-get the water out of the tank-we bought seven five gallon buckets to help with this process-if anyone needs a gently used bucket-well we cleared out the first tank as I had visions of it collapsing by the time we go the stand erected. Both of us learned much about reading instructions as a son and dad usually do when putting something like this together, quickly and with a bit of exhaustion already a factor. We got the stand together and moved the tank-all that careful planning and water adjustments seemed pointless and overdone at this point as we had a murky disheveled tank with PH and nitrites probably all over the place-there was nothing we could do but hope for the best, after hours of fish in a barrel-they are not as fun as monkeys but I digress, the fish lived and at 2 in the morning we turned the lights on to a tank that looked like the thickest fog you’ve ever seen.

This morning-I woke up to a tank that was still recovering but the fish lived and the clarity was improving. I realized something though, with all the exhaustion and stress, I somehow found peace, my son and I both never lost our tempers or snapped at each other, we both taught each other lessons during the whole ordeal and while my expenses were bleeding out I found peace despite the circumstances. We both woke this morning to success and a beautiful tank out of the chaos of the evening before but I realized for that whole time, I was there, I was present, both mentally and physically-we both handled the situation, it didn’t handle us and through the great stress and trying circumstance I found peace, a feeling of accomplishment and a relationship-building circumstance I could not have bargained for. God works in strange ways and often directly to the opposite of what we think should be-it’s how we act and how we handle the daily struggles that finds peace in a stressful place.

Now it’s your turn-family projects?? What have you learned from hobbies with your teens? What was the worst family vacation you ever had? What did you learn from these experiences-did you meet it with logic? Creativity? Aggravation?