Treading Water

I want your peace, you give it as a gift

I only lick the edge of the plate

Ignoring the state of bliss

I bask in dark water

It’s how I comfortably swim

As I drown in a slow whirlpool

I won’t ask again, I’ve seen my shadow on the bottom

And my eyes were always scared

I trusted you

The thin skin of the water

A blackness I can barely discern

And a thirst I can not contain

I remain in this water

Smelling the memories of winter

And fall

How cold the bottom seems and distant

Like memories

Of so many summers gone

And all of the children

That have passed on to be parents

Watching children

Treading water

I wish I could feel the safety you insist

And the fact that the mortal coil

Only persists

As long as I’m breathing

And as long as the water evades my lungs

Welcome it in and I sink to the bottom

I trusted you

You never failed me

I’ve failed you

And the shadow on the bottom that stared back in fear

Was only the remnants and entanglements

The love and beauty of a fleeting year….