In recent years we suddenly discovered a new species of people-the bully. Schools create dances and songs and processes to defeat this unfortunate foe as if we have only just realized that they exist. Bullies have existed in one way or another for centuries as long as there have been differences in strength differences in skin color, looks, egos and tolerances there have been and always will be bullies. The government can not legislate their extinction no more than dances and songs can wish them away.
I think of myself as a kind person so why should I be disgusted with this whole campaign of outlawing the bully? It is the hypocrisy of this campaign that disgusts me, not its intention nor its cause.
Bullies do not fit into the community, strength does not motivate them instead a lack of compassion, a feeling of narcissism or insecurity, it is the bullies’ problem but it becomes ours because there are no boundaries to the bully in this day where sticking up for ones’ self is as distasteful as being the bully. This stick your head in the sand policy creates a playground for the bully where no one can defend themselves against their abuse. I have always thought that signs should be put up that say we will stick together, its the unity in a community that keeps the bully at bay. It’s hard to bully someone if you know their friends or a large group of concerned people will stand against them.
Another element to the lack of unity is the fact that the media, the same entity that preaches tolerance and kindness is nasty and bullies its own. Kids are taught not to taunt each other and than they see on television the celebrities are torn to shreds and calling someone fat, a slob, a slut becomes today’s comedy routine. Such a mixed message our kids see as the bully mentality is alive and well and has invaded our homes through the Internet, cable news and celebrity tabloid.
Children are being raised with narcissistic tendencies which says your feelings and well being trump any others, so why not bully, why not be unkind to others. In the past it was more what you can do for the fellow man or what you can contribute to the community now it is what you deserve and what your company or community owes you. We have lawyers advertising how they can get you what you deserve and treats the insurance companies like they are evil when you need to wonder which is more evil. The obese are worthy of ridicule, the ugly deserve all the jokes and taunts they get but lets talk about being kind to each other. Kids are taught that losing is a horrible thing to be avoided at all costs while the actual feeling of success is fabricated as everyone gets a trophy. Losing builds humility and teaches lessons that are integral for the child, only a leader that has learned to follow can lead well. This is the problem, compassion, humility and a sense of debt to others instead of the self indulgent feeling that world revolves around you.
I think we need to teach our children compassion and kindness, not ignore all the nastiness but explain it to our children and let them realize why it occurs instead of treating it like the white elephant in the room. We need our children to have empathy so they will treat others as they want to be treated. Bullies exist because there are inconsistencies in our society, they feed on weakness and no matter how much we would love for them to disappear all of our dancing and legislation is not winning. We need to not only get together as a society and become more united but we need to bring the bully into the fold, the bully can not exist where there is unity and strength and the tendencies that allow the bully to bully are often eliminated when the bully is taught compassion, empathy and is welcomed into a society that doesn’t ostracize people that don’t fit.